i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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