This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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