The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can you bring me the toilet please
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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