Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize