One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
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He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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