My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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