Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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