Only a mothe r could love this liver
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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