It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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