I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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