I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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