'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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