Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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