I heard we made out
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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