Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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