I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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