if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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