i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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