im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize