Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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