so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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