is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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