ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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