The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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