Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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