i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize