M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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