I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
