K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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