bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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