Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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