She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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