I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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