Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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