once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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