He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
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Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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