did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Enjoy the penises
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize