My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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