After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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