I'm so fucking centered right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize