it wasn't lemon gatorade
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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