Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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