Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize