Kiss
Puke
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize