My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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