Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize