Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As shirtless as possible
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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