and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize