i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize