Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom

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(586): Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom http://tfl.nu/p7m9

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(207): View more from Maine

I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

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(207): I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers http://tfl.nu/79gv

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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(732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust

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(763): View more from Minnesota

i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.

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(763): i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately. http://tfl.nu/s9fu

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

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(780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1

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(770): View more from Georgia

Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???

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(770): Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives??? http://tfl.nu/8m9c

Replies (65) Good night (7203) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it

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(978): oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it http://tfl.nu/dcde

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(440): View more from Ohio

i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...

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(440): i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night... http://tfl.nu/6z7m

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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(814): you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door. http://tfl.nu/6ofj

Replies (19) Good night (6158) Bad night (781)
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(714): View more from California

You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

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(714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq

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(310): View more from California

I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.

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(310): I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE. http://tfl.nu/riqc

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(336): View more from North Carolina

That boy needs some memories to take back home with him

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(336): That boy needs some memories to take back home with him http://tfl.nu/bmt8

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING

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(978): OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING http://tfl.nu/ds3l

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick

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(402): I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick http://tfl.nu/ipiq

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.

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(832): after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations. http://tfl.nu/2l5l

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