just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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